Joyful And Triumphant

Dear Heart,

you’re weird..first you gave love a chance, loving the wrong person for so long..you gave it all you had and let yourself open without thinking that you’ll ever get hurt and for two long years, you loved with all you had even though you knew that the other heart did not love you as much..you kept loving and loving, hoping that you & the other heart will meet half way..then the time actually came..the time where you got hurt..not just a short amount of hurt; you were hurt for half a year..or half a year, you were completely broken & shattered..so broken that everybody noticed it..you didn't want to give love a chance again; never again..why would you give love another chance when you have gone through so much bullshit and lies..??

one of my old friends once said to me “They ripped out your heart; stepped all over it, crushing it to pieces and then just left it there without even cleaning it up” and honestly; I’m very sorry..so so so so so sorry that I put you through so much hurt & pain..that is why I kept you locked up..I was never going to put you through more pain..so when this new light came in my life, I kept you locked up even though you kept telling me to go for it while my head kept telling me “no” because I wanted to keep you protected..but you kept trying to come out and over power my mind..so after all the things you’ve been through you still wanted to open up to this newbie , which amazed me..this newbie must be something special if you wanted to give love another try just for this one new..then finally, you over-powered my mind..I listened to you rather then my head..I’m glad I did listen to you heart because I can honestly say that I am truly happy and I feel as if you are healed..you are so much better..you helped me turn from that bitter heart broken guy to this happy smiling guy..after that six months, you decided that you’ll give love another chance..

thank you because I have a good feeling about this one..a very good feeling..thank you for telling me to go for it..I’m so happy because even though I put you through so much pain, hurt, tears, bullshit, lies, and torture, you are still willing to give love another chance..

~xoxo~

It's Winter Now Yet I Am Still Stuck In Summer

Dear friend,

   I miss you more than I can bear..It feels like I have heartburn from eating too much spice..all the time..but I know it’s just heart ache from missing you..you may be miles away and the possibility of being together, parallel universes and light years apart..but I can’t stop thinking about you, about the times we spent together..our time together was brief but perhaps it’s better that way; I remember every detail about the moments we spent together..remember verbatim the jokes you told me, the stories, everything..and I can’t help replaying these memories..on the train, in class, while I’m supposed to be studying..I can’t listen to Pandora anymore because every song is about love and every song reminds me of you..

   I miss you, I miss you..I miss you..and I am still stuck in summer..

Dear Self,

   it’s winter now..get over it and get on with life..you’ll find someone who seems perfect for you in every way..but now…it’s really time to focus on life..

~xoxo~

Maybe One Day I'll Understand

hellooooo~

sejak akhir2 nie xtaw nape laa ramai sangat nak kawen..!!

best sangat kaa kawen nie sampai sume orang berebut2 nak tunggu giliran..!!

x paham tol laa..!!

wat sakit kepala jaa kawen2 nie..!!

laen laaa klu berpanjangan kaann..!!??

oppppss..!! *larikk

kawen..??

ape erti perkahwinan kat aku..??

errrmmm..nothing i assumed..!!

nak taw nape..??

first of all, perkahwinan tidak menjanjikan kebahagiaan..!!

lame2 klu asyik jumpe muka yang same jaa x ke bosan..!!

nanti mula laa nak gi carik laen..!!

gi menggatal ngan orang laen yang lebih mude or mungkin ade yang taste die orang2 yang berumur..!!

ye laa cik jah, orang berumur nie kan experience segala bagai kate nyer kaann..

understanding laa konon2 nyer..!!

padahal sume truh hanyalah sandiwara semata2..!!

padahal dorang duk menyembah poket yang tebal berkepuk2 tuh adalah..!!

chhooyyy sangat orang2 yang macam nie..!!

tp mmg laa kan, nowadays money is everything..!!

ko hengat dengan hanya bersandarkan pada LOVE ko ble kenyang..!!

ko ble nak shopping dengan LOVE..!!

ko ble dapat keja yang hebat2 dengan hanye LOVE..!!!

tidak yer..!!

saya ulangi lagik tidak hokeeyyy adik2 sekalian..!!

HELL NOOOOO bitches..!!! *emos*

second, tak semesti nyer setiap relationship tuh perlu di akhiri dengan perkahwinan..!!

sape kate angkat kaki..?? :P

it's such a turn off event laa..!!

come on laa, who needs it nowadays..!!

plus, monogamy best kaa..??

errmmm..

x best laa..!!

nanti terkongkong dan terikat dengan segala peraturan..!!

bosannnn..!!

nanti kang sume benda nak kena report..!!

even nak gi toilet pon nak kena report gak..!!

x paham btol dengan orang2 camni..!!

dan sangat laa x paham dengan orang2 yang ble tahan dengan keadaan yang sangat laaa babeng nie..!!

dah hilang akal kot..!!

klu aku sorry laa, angkat kaki laa aku cabut larik..!!

bek polygamy lagik best..!!

oppssssiiee..!! :P

plus, xde laa merana jiwa raga kan nak kne jaga hati dan perasaan sebelah pihak lagik..!!

single lagik best y'all..!!!

xyah nak pening2 kepala sampai migrain pk hati dan perasaan mereka..!!

nie baru skek, klu bercerai kaa hape nanti, x ka lagik menjadi2 kang korang tuh..!!

haaaiissshhh..!!

xde laaa aku nak kaannn mende2 nie..!!

x perlu sangat hokkeeyy..!!!

akhir kate, SINGLE lagik best even though korang akan rase lonely kekadang tuh..

but ape gne ade friends di sekeliling korang kann..

bajet klu korang xde special partner, korang xle nak feeling2 ngan kawan korang pulakk..!!

btol salah..??

~xoxo~

ps: nie hanyalah pendapat saya okehh..!!!tiada kena mengena ngan yang hidup ataupun yang telah tiada..!!

for a love to keep me safe and warm

hi again..!!
seronok plak bile tgk one of my friends yang jawab soalan2 dengan gigih kaann..
terpanggil lak diri ini nak jawab gak soalan2 tuh..
macam best jaaa..!!
sooo, sila ikuti jawapan saya yerr anak2..!!
ohohohoo~

1. Apa benda yang paling penting dalam hidup anda?

family and my 9 bestfriends laa obviously, kawan2 yang understanding and concern, the love of my life (YES..!!i'm talking about YOU) besides Dear Allah, who gives me this great opportunity to have these all..!!all praise to Him..

2. Benda terakhir yang anda beli guna duit anda?

owh today x beli ape2 laaa..jap2, ade..!!beli shawerma firakh as my breakfast..!!and also morning dew and two shawerma lahma..!!ok, saya mmg gemuk..!!uhhuhu~

3. Di manakah tempat anda akan langsungkan perkahwinan anda dan apakah temanya nanti?

KALAU KAWIN kan, yes saya ULANGI, KALAU SAYA RASA NAK KAWIN la kann, errmmm, nak garden party as a theme where ONLY closed family, bestfriends and friends jaa yang akan diundang..!!xnak ramai2, wat semak majlis jaa..!!pastu sepanjang majlis tuh HANYA lagu2 MARIAH CAREY jaa yang WAJIB berkumandang ke segenap pelusuk majlis hokeeyy..!!and rase cam nak masak sendiri untuk dorang..!!ko mampooo..??gaayytteeww..!!

 4. Adakah anda sedang bercinta sekarang?

sedang bercinta..??errmm maybe it's more to syok sendiri kot..!!tapi seriously, different sangat perasaan tuh sekarang..semakin kuat, dalam dan mekar dalam taman mewangi..!!ceewwaahhh..!!ayat nak kne sepak jaa..!!

5. Berapa lama anda akan mencintai kekasih anda?

selagi terdaya and klu volleeyy sehingga ke akhir hayat laa kaann..!!setia plak..!!tp tuh laa, die jaa yang x paham2..!!or maybe die tahu tp saje wat2 xtaw n xnk paham..!!huhuuu..kalau ade jodoh tak ke mane kaann..!!is it applicable..!!??hahahaa.. :p

6. Di manakah anda selalu jumpa kekasih anda?

OBVIOUSLY laaa TAK..!!!sedeyyyyyy..!!!!sumber inspirasi sudah hilang..!!a part of my life is missing and it kills me whenever i think about that person..i miss you sooo damn much..!!can you hear me..??helllooo~~

7. Novel/buku/ majalah yang terakhir dibeli?

PHARMACOLOGY

8. Siapakah nama penuh anda?

Firdaus Fariq, kalau x silap name seorang pembesar arab..!!errmmm..sangat diragui..!!ohohoho~

9. Antara mak dengan ayah, mana yang anda lebih mesra?

mak..!!sah2 laa kaann anak laki lebih mesra ngan mak nyer..!!tp saya sayang dua2..!!sangat merindu mereka..!!ok nak nangis..!! :((

10.Namakan orang yang anda betul-betul nak jumpa dalam hidup anda?

duuuhhh..!!of course laa MARAIH CAREY..!!!!volleeyyy x, xtaw die dtg egypt last may..!!huhuhu..sentappzz..!!

11. Adakah anda basuh baju anda sendiri?

HELL YES..!!TWICE A WEEK..!!opppss..!! *spotlight kat jalil* :P

12. Di manakah tempat anda betul2x nak pergi?

anywhere with you..!!hehehehe~

13. Pilih satu "peluk" atau "cium"?

mesti laa peluk..!!!sangat selesa..!!kehangatan tubuh badan serta bau yang menyenangkan memang best..!!!SKIN TO SKIN, LIPS TO LIPS..!!ok dah merepek..!!hahaha~

14. Beritahu 3 benda tentang orang yang beri tag.

hajar baki

kawan yang understanding

sangat gaaayyggeehhh :P

15. Lima benda yang disayangi dalam hidup anda.

purple checkers scarf, bags, perfumes, jam guess, album MARIAH CAREY..!!

16. Lagu yang anda suka dan selalu dengar.

we belong together, i wanna know what love is and endless love by mariah carey, you lost me by christina aguilera and dangerously in love by beyonce knowles

17. Bila tarikh lahir dan kt maner korang sambut tahun lepas?

21 july..kat johny's with my family..!!love y'all..!!

~xoxo~

Let's Talk Medically

hellooo guys..!!

it's been a week since my last post..!!so i wanna try something new here and which is why i wanna share some medical facts that i used to learn in my classes..!!as a starter, let me share with you about ATHEROSCLEROSIS..!!

does anyone familiar with that term..??

i know i know, let me explain in a simple but informative sentences..!!

let's start our medical class, shall we..!!? :P

Atherosclerosis (also known as arteriosclerotic vascular disease or ASVD) is a condition in which an artery wall thickens as the result of a build-up of fatty materials such as cholesterol. It is a syndrome affecting arterial blood vessels, a chronic inflammatory response in the walls of arteries, in large part due to the accumulation of macrophage white blood cells and promoted by low-density lipoproteins (plasma proteins that carry cholesterol and triglycerides) without adequate removal of fats and cholesterol from the macrophages by functional high density lipoproteins (HDL), (see apoA-1 Milano). It is commonly referred to as a hardening or furring of the arteries. It is caused by the formation of multiple plaques within the arteries.

The atheromatous plaque is divided into three distinct components:

1. The atheroma ("lump of gruel," from ἀθήρα, athera, gruel in Greek), which is the nodular accumulation of a soft, flaky, yellowish material at the center of large plaques, composed of macrophages nearest the lumen of the artery
2. Underlying areas of cholesterol crystals
3. Calcification at the outer base of older/more advanced lesions.

The following terms are similar, yet distinct, in both spelling and meaning, and can be easily confused: arteriosclerosis, arteriolosclerosis, and atherosclerosis. Arteriosclerosis is a general term describing any hardening (and loss of elasticity) of medium or large arteries (from the Greek arteria, meaning artery, and sclerosis, meaning hardening); arteriolosclerosis is any hardening (and loss of elasticity) of arterioles (small arteries); atherosclerosis is a hardening of an artery specifically due to an atheromatous plaque. The term atherogenic is used for substances or processes that cause atherosclerosis.

Atherosclerosis, though typically asymptomatic for decades, eventually produces two main problems: First, the atheromatous plaques, though long compensated for by artery enlargement (see IMT), eventually lead to plaque ruptures and clots inside the artery lumen over the ruptures. The clots heal and usually shrink but leave behind stenosis (narrowing) of the artery (both locally and in smaller downstream branches), or worse, complete closure, and, therefore, an insufficient blood supply to the tissues and organ it feeds. Second, if the compensating artery enlargement process is excessive, then a netaneurysm results.

These complications of advanced atherosclerosis are chronic, slowly progressive and cumulative. Most commonly, soft plaque suddenly ruptures (seevulnerable plaque), causing the formation of a thrombus that will rapidly slow or stop blood flow, leading to death of the tissues fed by the artery in approximately 5 minutes. This catastrophic event is called an infarction. One of the most common recognized scenarios is called coronary thrombosis of acoronary artery, causing myocardial infarction (a heart attack). Even worse is the same process in an artery to the brain, commonly called stroke. Another common scenario in very advanced disease is claudication from insufficient blood supply to the legs, typically due to a combination of both stenosis and aneurysmal segments narrowed with clots. Since atherosclerosis is a body-wide process, similar events occur also in the arteries to the brain, intestines, kidneys, legs, etc. Many infarctions involve only very small amounts of tissue and are termed clinically silent, because the person having the infarction does not notice the problem, does not seek medical help or when they do, physicians do not recognize what has happened.

Causes

Atherosclerosis develops from low-density lipoprotein molecules (LDL) becoming oxidized (ldl-ox) by free radicals, particularly reactive oxygen species (ROS). When oxidized LDL comes in contact with an artery wall, a series of reactions occur to repair the damage to the artery wall caused by oxidized LDL. The LDL molecule is globular shaped with a hollow core to carry cholesterol throughout the body. Cholesterol can move in the bloodstream only by being transported by lipoproteins.

The body's immune system responds to the damage to the artery wall caused by oxidized LDL by sending specialized white blood cells (macrophages and T-lymphocytes) to absorb the oxidized-LDL forming specialized foam cells. These white blood cells are not able to process the oxidized-LDL, and ultimately grow then rupture, depositing a greater amount of oxidized cholesterol into the artery wall. This triggers more white blood cells, continuing the cycle.

Eventually, the artery becomes inflamed. The cholesterol plaque causes the muscle cells to enlarge and form a hard cover over the affected area. This hard cover is what causes a narrowing of the artery, reduces the blood flow and increases blood pressure.

Some researchers believe that atherosclerosis may be caused by an infection of the vascular smooth muscle cells; chickens, for example, develop atherosclerosis when infected with the Marek's disease herpesvirus. Herpesvirus infection of arterial smooth muscle cells has been shown to cause cholesteryl ester (CE) accumulation.Cholesteryl ester accumulation is associated with atherosclerosis.

Also, cytomegalovirus (CMV) infection is associated with cardiovascular diseases.

Signs And Symptoms

Atherosclerosis typically begins in early adolescence, and is usually found in most major arteries, yet is asymptomatic and not detected by most diagnostic methods during life. Atheroma in arm, or more often in leg arteries, which produces decreased blood flow is called peripheral artery occlusive disease (PAOD).

According to United States data for the year 2004, for about 65% of men and 47% of women, the first symptom of atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease is heart attack or sudden cardiac death (death within one hour of onset of the symptom).

Most artery flow disrupting events occur at locations with less than 50% lumen narrowing (~20% stenosis is average). The illustration above, like most illustrations of arterial disease, overemphasizes lumen narrowing, as opposed to compensatory external diameter enlargement (at least within smaller arteries, e.g., heart arteries) typical of the atherosclerosis process as it progresses (see Glagov^]the ASTEROID trial,^] and the IVUS photographs on page 8, as examples for a more accurate understanding). The relative geometry error within the illustration is common to many older illustrations, an error slowly being more commonly recognized within the last decade.

Cardiac stress testing, traditionally the most commonly performed non-invasive testing method for blood flow limitations, in general, detects only lumen narrowing of ~75% or greater, although some physicians claim that nuclear stress methods can detect as little as 50%.

Treatment

·         Lifestyle changes (diet, smoking, physical activity)

·         Drug treatment of diagnosed risk factors

·         Antiplatelet drugs

·         Possibly statins, ACE inhibitors, β-blockers

Diet: Several changes are beneficial:

·         Less saturated fat

·         No trans fats

·         More fruits and vegetables

·         More fiber

·         Moderate (if any) alcohol

Substantial decreases in saturated fat and simple carbohydrate intake and increases in fruit, vegetable, and fiber intake are recommended. These dietary changes are a prerequisite for lipid control and weight reduction and are essential for all patients. Calorie intake should be limited to keep weight within the normal range.

Small decreases in fat intake do not appear to lessen or stabilize atherosclerosis. Effective change requires limiting fat intake to 20 g/day, consisting of 6 to 10 g of polyunsaturated fat with ω-6 (linoleic acid) and ω-3 (eicosapentaenoic acid, docosahexaenoic acid) fatty acids in equal proportion, ≤ 2 g of saturated fat, and the rest as monounsaturated fat. Trans fatty acids, which are highly atherogenic, should be avoided.

Increasing carbohydrates to compensate for decreasing saturated fats in the diet increases plasma triglyceride levels and reduces HDL levels. Thus, any caloric deficiency should be made up with proteins and unsaturated fats rather than simple carbohydrates. Excessive sugar intake should be avoided, although sugar intake has not been directly related to cardiovascular risk. Instead, consumption of complex carbohydrates (eg, vegetables, whole grains) is encouraged.

Fruits and vegetables (5 daily servings) seem to decrease risk of coronary atherosclerosis, but whether this effect is due to phytochemicals or to a proportional decrease in saturated fat intake and increase in fiber and vitamin intake is unclear. Phytochemicals called flavonoids (in red and purple grapes, red wine, black teas, and dark beers) appear especially protective; high concentrations in red wine may help explain why incidence of coronary atherosclerosis in the French is relatively low, even though they use more tobacco and consume more fat than Americans do. But no clinical data indicate that eating flavonoid-rich foods or using supplements instead of foods prevents atherosclerosis.

Increased fiber intake decreases total cholesterol and may have a beneficial effect on glucose and insulin levels. Daily intake of at least 5 to 10 g of soluble fiber (eg, oat bran, beans, soy products, psyllium) is recommended; this amount decreases LDL by about 5%. Insoluble fiber (eg, cellulose, lignin) does not appear to affect cholesterol but may confer additional health benefits (eg, reduced risk of colon cancer, possibly by stimulating bowel movement or reducing contact time with dietary carcinogens). However, excessive fiber interferes with the absorption of certain minerals and vitamins. In general, foods rich in phytochemicals and vitamins are also rich in fiber.

Alcohol increases HDL and has poorly defined antithrombotic, antioxidant, and anti-inflammatory properties. These effects appear to be the same for wine, beer, and hard liquor, and occur at moderate levels of consumption; about 30 mL (1 oz) 5 to 6 times/wk protects against coronary atherosclerosis. However, at higher doses, alcohol can cause significant health problems. Thus, the relationship between alcohol and total mortality rate is J-shaped; mortality rate is lowest for men who consume < 14 drinks/wk and women who consume < 9 drinks/wk.

There is little evidence that dietary supplementation with vitamins, phytochemicals, and trace minerals reduces risk of atherosclerosis. The one exception is fish oil supplements. Although alternative medicines and health foods are becoming more popular, and some may have minor effects on blood pressure or cholesterol, these treatments are not always proven safe or effective and may have negative interaction with proven drugs. Levels of coenzyme Q10, which is necessary for the basic functioning of cells, tend to decrease with age and may be low in patients with certain heart and other chronic diseases; thus, coenzyme Q10 supplementation has been used or recommended, but its therapeutic benefit remains controversial.

Physical activity: Regular physical activity (eg, 30 to 45 min of walking, running, swimming, or cycling 3 to 5 times/wk) reduces incidence of some risk factors (hypertension, dyslipidemia, diabetes), CAD (eg, MI), and death attributable to atherosclerosis in patients with and without previous ischemic events. Whether the association is causal or merely indicates that healthier people are more likely to exercise regularly is unclear. Optimal intensity, duration, frequency, and type of exercise have not been established, but most evidence suggests an inverse linear relationship between aerobic physical activity and risk. Walking regularly increases the distance patients with peripheral vascular disease can walk without pain.

An exercise program that involves aerobic exercise has a clear role in preventing atherosclerosis and promoting weight loss. Before starting a new exercise program, the elderly and people who have risk factors for atherosclerosis or who have had recent ischemic events should probably be evaluated by a physician; evaluation includes history, physical examination, and assessment of risk factor control.

Antiplatelet drugs: Oral antiplatelet drugs are essential because most complications result from plaque fissure or rupture with platelet activation and thrombosis. The following are used:

•       aspirin
•       clopidogrel
•       ACE inhibitors 
•       angiotensin II receptor blockers
•       statins 
•       thiazolidinediones

so, to simplify those turn off sentences, atherosclerosis is the most serious form of arteriosclerosis

because it causes coronary artery disease and also cerebrovascular disease. in order to prevent this

from happening, please please please, change your lifestyle coz PREVENTION IS THE BEST

METHOD THAN CURE THE DISEASE..!! :P